The following message is considered to be funny.  Do not read if you have 
something in your mouth or have not recently used the bathroom.

Okay, you know how these days, a lot of movies have outtakes at the end?  
Well, this is a partial set of Sonic game outtakes.  "How can a game have 
outtakes?" you may ask.  You're about to find out.

TITLE SCREEN OUTTAKES:
OUTTAKE 1: The Sonic title screen.
[Sonic rises out of the big ring as usual, but goes up too high and hits his 
head on the top of the ring.]
Sonic: Ow... oh, I'm supposed to be waving my finger back and forth right 
now, right?
OUTTAKE 2: The Sonic 2 title screen.
[The title screen sits still, without Sonic and Tails, for five minutes.  
Suddenly a slamming door is heard.  A panting Sonic (who hasn't shaved) pops 
out of the ring and collapses over the C.  Tails climbs up, accidentally 
knocking Sonic out of the ring.]
Tails: Sorry we're late, Mr. Naka.  Sonic wanted to... Um, Sonic?  Where are 
you? [looks down] Uh-oh.
OUTTAKE 3: The Sonic & Knuckles title screen.
[Sonic jumps down and misses the platform, now hanging from it with his hand. 
 Knuckles bends down to help him up and is whacked in the head by a spinning 
gray ball that looks like the Death Egg.  As he falls off the platform, Sonic 
gets back up, only to be knocked off by the Death Egg on the return trip.  
The Egg collides with the camera.]

BOSS OUTTAKES:
OUTTAKE 1: Emerald Hill boss.
[In mid-battle, the drill-car suddenly slows down and stops.  Sonic walks 
over to the car.]
Sonic: What are you doing, Ivo?  Why'd you stop?  It's not the end of the 
scene yet.
Robotnik: Sorry, Sonic.  I ran out of gas.
[Robotnik gets out.  Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik push the car off-screen.]
OUTTAKE 2: Sonic 2 final boss.
[Sonic is fighting as usual, when suddenly he stops and stares at the 
background, as does the giant robot.  The viewer now notices that the star 
background has been replaced by a Windows 95 error message.]
Sonic: Um, we've got a computer problem here.  Hello?  Anyone listening?  
[Turns to Robotnik, who has climbed out of the robot]  I think they left, Ivo.
Robotnik: Well, Sonic, I guess we better go home.
[They walk offscreen and the lights go out.]
OUTTAKE 3: Right after Launch Base Act 2 boss #1.
[Sonic hops into the Egg-O-Matic.]
Sonic: Let's see... now how did it work?  [presses button, and the 
Egg-O-Matic starts flying around more crazily than an untied balloon]  How do 
you stop this thing?!?!?!?!?!
OUTTAKE 4: Mushroom Hill Act 1 boss.
[While Sonic is fighting, Amy walks onto the scene.]
Amy: Hi, Sonic.
Sonic: Amy?! You're not even IN this game!  What are you doing here? [Tails 
walks onto the stage to find out what's happenning.  He is shortly followed 
by Robotnik Knuckles, Mighty, Espio, Vector, Charmy, Ray, Metal Sonic, Mecha 
Sonic, E-102, Big, Nack, and four different Flickies.]
Amy: I wanted to be with you!
[All the Sonic Team people walk onto the stage.]
Sonic: Amy, we're in the middle of a scene.
Amy: And you're in the middle of my heart.  [Kisses Sonic]
All but Amy and Sonic: [Cheering]
Sonic: That's it.  I'm outta here.  [Runs off]
Amy:  Come back here, Sonic!  [Chases him]
OUTTAKE 5: S&K Knuckles final boss.
[Mecha Sonic zooms over to the Master Emerald and hops on; it starts to 
wobble.]
Knuckles: Look out!
[Master Emerald falls off the screen along with Mecha Sonic.]
OUTTAKE 6: Knuckles (the S&K Hidden Palace boss).
[As Sonic fights, running footsteps are heard.  Sonic turns in the direction 
of the footsteps.]
Sonic: Uh-oh.  Gotta go, Knux.  [Runs off]
[Amy runs through in the same direction as Sonic]
Amy:  You can't run from me forever, Sonic!!!

STORYLINE SCREENS:
OUTTAKE 1: Sonic 2 Good Ending.
[Super Sonic is floating in front of the plane, which then goes through the 
normal ending procedure.  Super Sonic continues to float there in the same 
position.  Suddenly, he stops, and just stands there in the middle of the 
air.]
Super Sonic: [Scratches head] Now what was I supposed to do?
[Regular Sonic walks onstage and faces Super Sonic]
Sonic: You're supposed to do pretty much the same thing as the biplane.
Super Sonic: Thanks, Sonic.
Sonic: No problem.
OUTTAKE 2: Transition from Carnival Night to Ice Cap.
[Sonic starts to climb into the cannon, then stops.]
Amy (offstage): There you are, Sonic!
[Sonic jumps off of the floor and runs away on the bottom of the screen.  Amy 
then runs through, accidentally knocking over the cannon (which is thus 
revealed to be a cardboard prop).]
OUTTAKE 3: Sonic & Knuckles Knuckles Good Ending.
[The biplane rises up as usual, but it bumps into the Floating Island.  
Knuckles accidentally drops the Master Emerald.]
Knuckles: Um, Mister Prop Man?  The Floating Island is too far forward.
Offstage voice: Further forward?  Got it.
[The Floating Island moves closer to the screen, knocking Knuckles off of the 
plane.]
OUTTAKE 4: Sonic 2 Tails Ending
[Sonic and Tails are about to do the routine at the end of the ending.]
Tails: Sonic, are you sure you can do this correctly?
Sonic: Of course.
[The plane flies away as usual... for a millisecond.  Then it collides with 
the "sky" background, which falls over.]
Sonic: Okay so I'm not so good at this.
[The small plane sprite stops where it is.  Sonic and Tails climb out, each 
becoming full-size upon leaving the plane.  They walk away on an invisible 
floor.]
OUTTAKE 5: Sonic & Knuckles Sonic Good Ending.
[As the biplane flies downward, a helicopter is heard overhead.  The 
helicopter (piloted by Knuckles) descends onto the screen.  A door opens, and 
Amy jumps out of the helicopter and onto the plane.]
Amy: You can't get away from me now, Sonic!
Sonic: AAH!  Tails, help!!
Tails: Now think about this, Sonic.  Why do you want to get away from Amy?
[Sonic is running out of room.]
Sonic: Well, because... because... er... Say, Andy, why AM I running away 
from Amy?
Me, from the keyboard being used to type this: Because I needed you to do 
that so I could lead up to this scene.  But now you don't have a reason 
anymore.
Sonic: So can we kiss now?
Me: Yes.
Sonic: Okay.
[Sonic and Amy kiss.  Then they collide with the Floating Island and fall 
into the ocean.]
Knuckles (still in the helicopter): Hey, um, the Floating Island is still too 
far forward.
[Yuji Naka walks onto the stage, standing on the water (which is actually 
blue floor).]
Naka: I can't believe this.

-Andy &&