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Tonic Hedgehog
The Jester of Boredom
(9/20/02 7:40 pm)
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Jeopardumb! THE RETURN! (Season 2, episode 1)
(This will be reposted at the PHPBB when that goes back up)
[EDIT]SI TEH BUMP[/EDIT]
Jeopardumb! Season 2, Episode 1
Host: B.J. Brown
Announcer: Johnny Gilbert
Contestants: lushan230 (Moogle Cavern), "John" (alt.tv.game-shows), Zach Horan (returning chumpion, alt.tv.game-shows)
Girl who operates the torture area for contestants: Secret, unless you wanna know.
Set used: a brand-new set that's similar to the 1992 Jeopardy set. except the "UMB!" part is a light now. and it's our own set, so bwah.
Profiles for each character:
Lushan230: from The Moogle Cavern, this idiot will not shut up about his obsessions with Amy Rose and Stitch from "Disney's Lilo and Stitch." he has also posted pornography links.
"John": from alt.tv.game-shows. Not to be confused with John Ricci Jr, a much more intelligent alt.tv.game-shows user. this John, will not shut up about Fun House and Megan Mulally.
Zach Horan: from alt.tv.game-shows, he's notorious for giving useless spoilers and being full of @#%$ (FoS for short). he's the returning chumpion from last season (since Ken Van Hoosier has not been seen for a while, and we're keeping it that way.)
And now... onto the show!
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(sound of audience chattering, a "WEB-14" Symbol shows up)
(bteooooo-woooosh!) Johnny: THIS IS JEOPARDUMB!
(1992 J! theme)
Johnny: Now entering the studio are today's contestants. a person who will not shut up about his obsession with Amy and Stitch, Lushan230.
Lushan230: Wait until you see my story of how Stitch and Amy got together!
Johnny: a moron who keeps talking about Megan Mullaly and Fun House, John.
John: Watch As Megan Mullaly Talks About Fun House With J.D. Roth Premiering September 9th On Game Show Network.
Johnny: And our returning chumpion. He's a moron from alt.tv.game-shows who makes a total idiot out of himself, Zach Horan. whose one-game cash winnings total... -$9.
Zach:
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a player was in Jeopardumb today.
Johnny: And now, here is the host of Jeopardumb, B.J. BROWN!
(B.J. walks through the doors, inbetween the R and D)
B.J.: Thank you Johnny and welcome to the return of Jeopardumb! a second season, with a new announcer, new set, and more of an audience fanbase!
(audience applauds)
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| $0 | | $0 | | $0 |
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| Zach Horan | | John | | Lushan230 |
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B.J.: Zach is our current chumpion and has won -$9. Lushan and John will try to stop him. Now the only differences from this season and the last one is... there's now 6 categories, each with clues from $1 to $5. yes, the Daily Dumbbell is still present. BUT, we've taken elements from JEP! and put them here. As you can tell, players, you have 3 flashing red light dealies. first one puts stuff into a vat above your head. it can be anything from pirahnas, acid, honey and a beehive... second one, we pour that stuff on you. third one, our mystery lady...
(The camera switches to a view of the mystery lady: a black girl with a mask on her face and wearing some clad bikini clothing, which makes the guys hoot and holler)
B.J.: ... will toss you down a trapdoor, which could have lava, sharks, crocodiles... or more of the stuff from above. ok, Light up the board, Kevin!
(J! beeps and boops)
B.J.: Today's categories are: PRESIDENTS, MOVIES, our VIEWER'S CHOICE category, SOMETHING FOR THE TOMARKENITES, POTENT POTABLES, and FOODS THAT END IN -OT DOG. Zach, you're the chumpion, you start first.
Zach:
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I'll take Movies for $4.
B.J.: Movies for four... "This movie has proved going back in time is possible, with a DeLorean." (John buzzes in) John?
John: Watch As Jackie and Sammy the Fun House Cheerleaders Talk About Fun House With Alan Alda on Bravo, Saturday at 7PM. (buzzer)
B.J.: No. (Lushan buzzes in) Lushan?
Lushan: What is "Stitch and Amy go back in time"? (buzzer)
B.J.: That's not even a movie! Zach, got a guess? (boopboopboop) correct response, what is "Back to the Future". Zach, pick again.
Zach:
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I'll pick Something for the Tomarkenites for $3.
B.J.: Tomarkenites for 3... "The host of Press Your Luck". (John buzzes in) John?
John: J.D. Roth Will Host A Marathon of Fun House, Tonight on Fox. (buzzer)
B.J.: That's your second flashing light... DUMP IT!
(the mystery girl pulls the yellow handle, and pirhanas come down on John)
(Zach buzzes in)
Zach:
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A contestant pressed their luck on today's episode. (buzzer)
B.J.: Lushan, got a- (Lushan buzzes in) Lushan?
Lushan: Who is Stitch? (buzzer)
B.J.: No, correct response, who is Peter Tomarken. And you got your second flashing light, Lushan.
(the mystery girl pulls the blue handle, and gasoline comes down on Lushan)
B.J.: Watch it, Lushan and John, one more wrong answer, and you're going down, literally. Zach, pick again.
Zach:
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I'll take Viewer's choice for $1.
B.J.: Today's Viewer's choice is "failed 1990s Game Shows". "Pat Finn hosted this dreadful revival of this show in 1990." (John buzzes in) John?
John: Megan Mullaly Will Be Doing This Promo for Fun House... (buzzer)
B.J.: That's your third flashing lights, John...
(Audience chants "Drop! Drop! Drop!" as the mystery girl pulls the yellow handle again. John falls down to a pit of crocodiles)
B.J.: John's down there for one question... (Zach buzzes in) Zach?
Zach:
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What is Tic Tac Dough?
B.J.: No, Zach, and you have your second strike... (mystery girl pulls down the red handle, dropping red paint on Zach) Lushan doesn't want to risk it... (boopboopboop) what is "The Joker's Wild". Lushan, why don't you pick ths time?
Lushan: Let's go with "Lilo and Stitch" for $5, B.J.
B.J.: There isn't a "Lilo and Stitch" category up there.
Lushan: Then let's try Foods that end in -ot dog for $2.
(Duhduhduhduhduhduh, duhduhduh)
B.J.: And that's the Daily Dumbbell! Lushan, you have -$7, what do you want to wager? you wager up to anything.
Lushan: $7, please.
B.J.: $7 in Foods that end in -ot dog... "This food is also known as bratwurst and ends in '-ot dog'."
Lushan: Stitchot Dog?
B.J.: No! it was Hot Dog, and you got your third flashing light, Lushan!
(mystery girl pulls the blue handle and Lushan falls down to a lava pit, a little bit of fire coming from the hole. in the meantime, John returns, with a lot of cuts and bites. he's bleeding from his arm badly.)
B.J.: Looks like Lushan's out of the game... and we welcome back John!
(end of round sound)
B.J.: And that's the end of the Jeopardumb! round. recapping scores... Zach has -$4, John has -$8, and Lushan... (the platform returns with a completely charred Lushan) ...is playing Final Jeopardumb with -$14. The category today... (ba-ging) Sonic the Hedgehog. write down your wagers, we'll take a quick break, right after this.
(Commercial: "NEW UP SODA! PERK UP YOUR DAY WITH UP SODA TODAY!")
(Johnny: If you want to become a contestant on Jeopardumb, all you have to do is say stupid things. blame people. be an @#%$. You'll get a letter by the producers of the program, then we'll lock you in a cell until showtime.)
B.J.: Final Jeopardumb category is Sonic the Hedgehog, they've made their wagers, here is the clue. (ba-ging) "Tell me what in the hell is a Kitsune." you have 30 seconds, good luck.
(J! 98-now think music)
B.J.: we come to Lushan, -$14, you said "a Kitsune is a long-lost brother of Stitch." Wrong. you wagered... "what I have now, plus $26 in my pocket." that puts you down to -$52. and you have to give me the $26, if you have it.
Lushan: I swear to god that's true!
B.J.: Right. John said "Megan Mullaly Will Talk About Kitsunes On Discovery Channel At 10PM." No. you wagered... "Jackie and Sammy The Fun House Cheerleaders Would Let Me Bet $4." so I'm taking it your wager is $4. puts you down to -$12.
John: Megan Mullaly...
B.J.: Will you shut the @#%$ up about Megan Mullaly?! Zach, you said... "
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a Kitsune is... a Kitsune." Ooh, so close. a Kitsune is a Japanese character, who's rumored to have many tails. I would've also accepted "a multi-tailed fox." you wagered... "
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I bet all I had." you bet $4, so you win with -$8, and you're coming back with -$17 so far, in your two games!
Zach:
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A contestant won on today's Jeopardumb, and that contestant was me 
B.J.: Whatever. We hope to see you next time on Jeopardumb! bye-bye!
(J! 92 theme)
Johnny: Some of our departing contestants will recieve "Gee your hair smells like crap shampoo", put a little dab of this in your hair, and the girls will scream... bloody murder. a $50 gift certificate to "H. Hog's house of flaming food," where H. Hog and Pyrosonic char up your good meals in less than 60 seconds. a talking Grandma Curmudgon doll, the famous "Shop 'til you drop" character, which says over 100 things. Pat Finn doll not included. and all our players will recieve a copy of the Jeopardumb board game. over 2000 categories and 60,000 questions makes this also useful for young children, from TRYCO toys.
(applause)
Johnny: This is Johnny Gilbert. Jeopardumb is a B.J. Brown internet production. Distributed by Queen Earth.
Tonic Hedgehog
Website
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Jack Barry, Bill Cullen, Ray Combs, Gene Rayburn, Randy Amasia, A.J. DeVol... (sighs)
Edited by: Tonic Hedgehog at: 9/24/02 3:25:09 am
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H Hog 
Hot Rod MC Mod
Odd volcanic fire guy
And I like swords too
(9/21/02 4:12 am)
Reply
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Re: Jeopardumb! THE RETURN! (Season 2, episode 1)
XD Hilarious.
This month's random webcomic link is... Waffle X - By Robert Luckett!
  
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Doom hero 
Registered User
(9/21/02 9:13 am)
Reply
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Re: Jeopardumb! THE RETURN! (Season 2, episode 1)
Ok, I don't feel like reading that long ass post. You should get a gold metal for "long posts". There's a slight chance that the post you just made is longer than kulock's longest O.O
 
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Captain NeoSonic Hedgehog 
Police Car-Drawing Cop
With Many Big Weapons.
... WHAT!? O.o;
(9/21/02 12:22 pm)
Reply
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Re: Jeopardumb! THE RETURN! (Season 2, episode 1)
DH: There've been longer...
And LOL, Tonic. Great stuff. XD
Captain NeoSonic Hedgehog: Now with 86% Gato worshipness!
Website: Blue Insanity. Enjoy or be Physalis'd, and possibly Zephyranthes'd. XP
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Andrusi 
Farewell, ezBoard.
(9/21/02 8:00 pm)
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teh FUNY
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Tonic Hedgehog
The Jester of Boredom
(9/26/02 1:23 pm)
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very strange.
why is it that if someone writes a long post, they'll reply by "I'm not gonna read that long-ass post"?!
EITHER YOU COMMENT OR YOU DON'T. SIMPLE AS THAT. :-/
Tonic Hedgehog
Website
Message Board
Livejournal
AIM
IRC Game Show Channel
Email
Jack Barry, Bill Cullen, Ray Combs, Gene Rayburn, Randy Amasia, A.J. DeVol... (sighs)
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