(Although this review is for a game rated M in America and 18 in Europe, and should only be played by people of the appropriate age in their location, the content in this review is safe for most audiences who frequent this site.) Well, it's certainly taken its time to get here, and undergone possibly the most massive change in style of any N64 game. Conker's finally staggered onto the scene, though, despite putting the "lay" in "incredibly long delay", and it provides a swansong that doesn't so much whisper the demise of the N64 as scrawl it on the wall and then underline it with various unspeakable fluids.... But is there actually any decent game behind the gags? Graphically, the game is pretty much flawless. There's every trick of the trade in here from the Rare games over the years; Jet Force Gemini liquid splatter effects, reflective floors, real-time light sourcing and proper shadowing that rivals - if not exceeds - Banjo-Tooie's. The game also looks remarkably good and surprisingly stylised, although the textures are somewhat indistinct and this can lead to a few problems - it's hard to tell where the wall ends and the platform begins at times, and this is especially true when you're using Conker's helicoptery-tail thing. His shadow vanishes totally whilst he's in flight and it's often more by luck than judgement if you manage to land on your target. The only other graphical complaint is that larger characters - such as the wooden crate in "Barn Boys" - will only fade in when Conker gets near. It's hardly disasterous, but it does come as a bit of a shock after the seemingly endless view distances in Banjo-Tooie. I suppose I might as well mention the framerate to keep the more anal players quiet - it's fine. It may drop slightly when something spectacular is going on but for the most part it's vastly improved over Banjo-Tooie (sorry to keep harping on about Tooie but it's Conker's closest "rival") and there's no way it should affect your game in the slightest. Sooner or later, I should probably address the problems of the camera. It's always been a minor stickling point in 3D platform games, and BFDs is probably the most disappointing feature of the game. It's awkward, it's clunky, it's fond of flicking around during really awkward jumps (and turning sideways when you're trying to traverse a narrow ledge) and - annoyingly - there's no in-head view, merely a "behind head view" like in Mario 64.. What this means is that on the occasions where the camera DOES start to play up, you've got very little recourse other than to try and make the best of your situation. First-generation camera control aside, though, the game is a joy to play. While Conker initially seems a bit clumsy after the spin-on-a-penny controls in Mario and Banjo, you'll soon find him surprisingly intuitive. The decision to do away with moves is a bold one, but one that works well - simply finding a context-sensitive pad will endow Conker with whatever he needs for that particular scene, be it a bazooka, an anvil transformation or a beer. It's all very neat stuff, and the element of "which move should I use here" is never brought up - instead, the puzzles lie on "how to use your new ability to affect the environment." When you're not messing around on B-pads, though, the actual puzzles are a fairly mixed bunch. They're either strikingly original or very samey. There's at least 3 occasions where you have to subdue cheese / sweetcorn / cogs, carry them to a destination, and repeat. Thankfully, these bits manage to stay on the right side of "repetitive" because you're generally having too much of a laugh smacking things about with a frying pan to notice, and the desire to get onto the next section will usually keep you going through the more tiresome bits. The "mature" aspect of the game shows itself in surprising ways. I never found the humour that offensive, to be honest, but there IS something for everyone, ranging from toilet jokes to clever movie parodies. Although you're unlikely to find it ALL amusing, you're almost guaranteed to get a laugh out of some of the game. The mature angle shows itself in other ways, though - it doesn't guide you constantly, for example. In other platformers, you're given clues as to where you should be headed next and what you should be doing once you get there. BFD remembers that these mature gameplayers have probably got the skills to remember where they were 10 minutes ago, though, and it's up to you to remember the suspicious-looking ladder or the blocked-off door that you couldn't get at before. This can lead to frustration if you've not been paying attention and you end up wandering around for half-an-hour for things that you may have missed, but on the whole I like it a lot better than constantly being handheld from location to location. The real meat of the game probably comes in the form of the numerous boss encounters. They're superbly done, hard but not overly-so, and they're original - except for the final boss. The boss fight (I won't spoil it) is clever, a surprise and even manages to be funny. In terms of gameplay mechanics, though, it's not only very simple, but it's also a virtual clone of the final boss from a different game. It was fun, but I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed - the ending made up for it, though, it's very clever stuff and a surprising contrast. The ending, mind, is something that you'll be seeing before too long. With half of the cart taken up by MP3s, Conker just isn't a very lengthy game. You're looking at about 10-12 hours playing time on your first runthrough, which - compared to the 30 of the Banjo games - is a bit short. It can be surprisingly welcome, though - few people have the stamina to start a second long game, whereas playing through Conker again is a much less daunting - and therefore more enjoyable - task. And, if you prefer, there's a Chapters menu where you can dip into any bit of the game you please. Which is nice. Did I say MP3s up there? Good. Fresh from the Killer Instinct series, Robin Beanland and Chris Seavor work together to produce one of the most aurally-accomplished games in the history of anything, ever. The amount of speech in there is amazing, and while it's a tiny bit blurry - from unavoidable compression - it really does help to improve the atmosphere of the game, betraying emotions and nuances in a way that text just can't. It also allows for a variety of amusing accents which would be totally lost if you were reading them. Then, in the background, there's a superb soundtrack. There's a variety of different genres, from gothic organ pieces to Spanish bullfighting, but they're all superb, and the music in the run-up to the ending is movie-quality stuff. The multiplayer is noteworthy, as well - since Conker's multiple genres would mean you'd end up with a deathmatch worse than Perfect Dark's, or a race game inferior to Mario Kart, the team cunningly decided to try and recreate a totally new console experience - that of Team Fortress. Paying homage to the PC's Half-Life add-on, the multiplayer games require one team to get across a beach while the other team tries to mow them down, or to attempt to guard nests of eggs while the other team attempts to steal them. Because it's never been done before, it's original, and it's also incredibly fun. You will need some communication skills with your teammate, though, otherwise you will get slaughtered by the in-game bots. The multiplayer is almost certain to get dragged out from time to time, simply because there's nothing else like it, and it's a very praise-worthy way of emulating an online PC experience on a humble console. Conker has some problems, there's no denying that. It's a bit short, there's a finnicky camera and some slightly suspect puzzles in parts. However, it's also brilliantly inspired in places, boasts a superb soundtrack and... well, it's impossible to dislike it, really. Most importantly, the team were striving for a mature game and they've succeeded. Look past the toilet humour and the singing feces that the critics seemed to feel destroyed any hope of raising the game above a schoolyard audience, and you'll find a game that really is best enjoyed if you're old enough to be in with Conker at the pub. Although it's not without its niggles, Rare have managed to successfully redefine the platform genre here, and it makes an excellent goodbye for the Nintendo 64. I'll see you on the Gamecube... GRAPHICS:     91% SOUNDS: 93% GAMEPLAY: 92% LIFESPAN: 80% OVERALL: 90% Chris_A Last Updated: 5/16/01